Thursday, August 2, 2007

Happy Birthday, Elaine Schwager

August 3: Happy Birthday, Elaine.
I miss you terribly.

(Elaine died in a fire in her Manhattan home and I didn't find out about her death until a few weeks after. I couldn't understand why she wasn't answering to my e-mails, and her voice was still speaking the greeting on her telephone. I was devastated when I learned—by accident—of her death.)

I still miss Elaine—painfully. She will never leave my mind. I just looked on her memorial Website called Elaine's Chair. What do you do when someone so special is taken away from you? From others, too, of course. But my pain is my pain. It's not lessened by others'. My favorite poem of hers, "Moving," ends:

"...I am going to another country
in the same room—the same room
in another city—clean white,
separate from what changes
and what's certain.
It is easier to go on foot
than to imagine being there.
When I get there,
my bags will be waiting. I have packed
in case I arrive."

from "Moving,"
I Want Your Chair,
Rattapallax Press.

Available on Amazon.

I dedicated to Elaine a self-design, self-manufactured 50-page poetry chapbook I made on a computer. Hardest work I've ever done. It's called Chrome Yellow.

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